A place to breathe.
While suffering with depression and anxiety, I was living what most would consider the American dream. I had a good-paying job with a pension, a house, a husband, a baby, and nice ‘things.’ Yet, I was still unfulfilled. I wondered, “If I am doing everything society tells me to do – like go to school, get a good job, buy a house, and have a family – why am I still so unhappy?”
Even though I hated my job, I continued to work. I stuck with it so I could make it to that retirement. My logical brain told me, “Hey, you only have to grunt it out for a few more years, and then you can retire and live the life you’ve always wanted.” Every day I worked, was one day towards retirement and one day towards freedom. It felt like a prison sentence.
I lost precious time with my young family due to work commitments. I worked 50-60 hours a week and missed the first year of my daughter’s life. Time I can’t make up later. Time I can never get back. I confused a good paying career with happiness. The problem was, I was not passionate about my job. It was a job I was lucky to fall into after the ‘Great Recession’ in late 2007. I know what unemployment feels like, so fear kept me from leaving.
During my depression, I followed a dark path towards self-sabbotage. I smoked cigarettes, I was binge eating, and I was drinking alone. I continously had ruminating thoughts about work and feelings of shame and guilt. I was suicidal.
My depression and anxiety got so bad, in 2017 I finally decided to do the right thing. I checked myself into an in-patient treatment facility in Arizona. That’s where I experienced a mind-shift and where I began to learn how to live a meaningful life.
When I came back home, my brain told me, “Now that I feel better, I can make my job work,” but my heart told me “This is not your passion. This isn’t for you. Quitting isn’t a sign of weakness. It is a sign of courage.” As a result, I left my job. No pension.
I now make a quarter of what I did at my secure full-time job, but my life is filled with richness. I am grateful because I am able to spend time with my family and practice presence in each and every moment.
It’s been a therapeutic journey filled with learning and growth. I created Blossomed Cherry as a way to clear my head, organize my thoughts, and to creatively express myself. I am passionate about learning, sharing and helping you with your struggles. It’s my full intention to support you in living out your dreams and realizing your full potential.
I write on topics including but not limited to mental health, personal growth, mindfulness, self-care, relationships, gratitude, holistic health and spirituality. I hope you’ll join me on this journey towards living a rich, juicy and meaningful life.